Your Loved Ones In Spirit Do Not Want You To Be Miserable

Can I share something today, gently, with all my love? 💜

And before I do, I want you to know, this is not a "get over it" post. This is not a "stop crying" post. This is not a "move on" post. Please hear every word of this with all the love it is meant with. 💜

Your Loved Ones In Spirit Do Not Want You To Be Miserable

I say that so softly, because I know it might feel like a tender thing to read, especially if today is already a hard day. But this comes from such a place of love, not from telling anyone how they should feel, and definitely not from any kind of timeline.

When we laugh, really laugh, the kind that comes from your belly and takes you by surprise, there is sometimes a little voice that creeps in right behind it. The one that whispers "how can you be laughing when they are gone?" And suddenly that beautiful laugh can feel like a betrayal, like proof you are moving on, like you love them a little less than you did yesterday. I understand that feeling so much. 💜

So sometimes we hold onto the sadness instead, because the sadness feels like love. It feels like proof that they mattered. And it absolutely is proof of that. 💔

Your Sadness Is So Valid

I want to be really clear about this. Your sadness is valid. Every single tear is valid. Grief is love with nowhere to go, and there is nothing wrong with feeling it fully, for as long as you need to. Please never let anyone tell you otherwise, and please don't let this post rush you either. This was never about a timeline. It never will be.

But I also want to gently share this, from everything I have experienced and everything I have been lucky enough to witness in my work, both with the people I read for and in my own life.

They Are Not Watching You Suffer And Feeling Loved By It

They are not watching you grieve and feeling loved. If anything, in my experience, they are watching with so much tenderness, wishing more than anything they could take some of that weight from you.

They want you to have the Sunday roast and enjoy every single bite. 🍽️ They want you to watch the programme you both loved and laugh at the same bits you always laughed at together. They want you to have the good day, the silly moment, the unexpected joy. Not instead of missing them, alongside it. The two things can live side by side so beautifully. The grief and the joy, the missing and the laughing, the love and the living. They were never opposites, not once. 💜

Grief And Joy Can Sit Together So Gently

On the days when you are on your own, the quiet Sunday afternoon, just you and your thoughts and the weight of their absence, it is more than okay to still find something small that makes you smile. It does not mean you have forgotten them. It does not mean you are over it. It does not mean you love them any less. It simply means you are human, and they loved you so much for being exactly that.

Grief does not have to be the whole story. It can just be one beautiful, aching part of it. 💜 It can rest alongside all the ordinary, lovely, funny, everyday moments of being alive, and neither one ever needs to cancel the other out.

Let Yourself Have The Good Moment, Fully

So if you have a good moment today, a laugh, a smile, something small and lovely, please let yourself have it. Fully. Without any guilt at all.

They would want that for you, so very much. I really believe that with my whole heart. 💜